Scene One

The Husband

The Husband is based on a scenario from a sixteenth century commedia dell'arte troupe known as I Gelosi. This version was developed in part from improvisation, and about a third of it remains in scenario form, to be improvised upon by future casts. While it is not by any stretch of the imagination a musical, there are several songs in the show, including an "opera" towards the end of the first act, in which Verita, the goddess of truth, reveals the history of some of the central characters' intrigues. It should be set in a fantastical present whimsically influenced by just about any time, anywhere.

The Husband

There is a prologue to music . After the song, Oratio comes in, looking all around him, careful not to be seen. After he is certain that he is alone, Oratio speaks to us.

ORATIO (spoken) I am a poet.

(sung) A poet in love while exiled in France

Returning to Naples, I yearn for the chance

To gaze on my love, to fulfill my romance

For who? I'll tell ya.

Isabella.

Isabella the love of my youth and the love of all infinite, history, mystery, epic and glorious time!

(spoken) She has the faint aroma of heather and her moods are like the month of April.

I am a poet.

(sung) A poet returned to claim as his own

That hand that I love as three years have shown

to which I'm devoted, and for which I groan

I'm a miserable fella

Without Isabella.

Isabella the love of my youth and the love of all infinite, history, mystery, epic and glorious time!

(spoken) She is fair, elegant and charming. She is endowed with all the virtues: patience, kindness, forbearance, charity, humility, chastity... well perhaps not chastity...

I am a poet.

(sung) A poet so spurned by the one that he adores

Who had given herself to one he abhores

His life's a despair of unreachable shores,

She's cast a spell. Ah!

Isabella!

(spoken) Oh! My soul aches, torn between fury, forgiveness and desire! But someone comes. I mustn't be recognized.

Captain Spavento arrives! Big fanfare. Oratio has his back turned, his collar up and has smashed himself into a corner.

SPAVENTO But who is here!

ORATIO No one.

SPAVENTO Are you Oratio who left Naples three years past, never to be heard from during all that time?

ORATIO You've got the wrong man.

SPAVENTO You sound like Oratio.

ORATIO I have a cold.

SPAVENTO You cower like Oratio.

ORATIO And a fever.

SPAVENTO You whine and complain like Oratio.

ORATIO I do not!

SPAVENTO It is! Oratio! (yelling) Oratio has returned! Oratio, my friend, we all thought you were dead.

ORATIO I wrote. Several times.

SPAVENTO Oratio! Welcome to Naples! (he embraces him roughly, Oratio falls)

ORATIO Capitano.

SPAVENTO What are you doing on the ground? We must drink together! We must sing lusty songs and eye the wenches! We must talk of manly things and roar with laughter. (he roars with laughter)

ORATIO No! No! I don't think that would be a good idea.

SPAVENTO Why not?

ORATIO I'm incognito.

SPAVENTO Oh? Oh!

ORATIO Oh yes.

SPAVENTO Since when?

ORATIO Since I got back to Naples.

SPAVENTO Don't you worry, the Capitano will take care of you, my boy!

ORATIO No, you misunderstand. No one must know I'm here.

SPAVENTO Spavento knows!

ORATIO Yes, yes. You know.

SPAVENTO And I know about your condition, too, but before long you'll be up on your feet and flat on your back with the best of them.

ORATIO Thanks. So... how've you been?

SPAVENTO Same old thing. A brawl, disorderly conduct now and then, a few problems with the peasants, but nothing worth my mettle. (martial sounds) I yearn to stagger under the iron claw of Mars! To sweat beneath the dreadful yoke of all-forsaking battle! To toil and labor, to burn with rage, to be whipped by the eddying currents of the terrible rivers of war!

ORATIO Yeah, it's like that sometimes.

SPAVENTO Yourself?

ORATIO Oh, a little distracted.

SPAVENTO Focus your steel beam on the prize, my man, give it your heart and your life, each day a triumph, each day a chance to pitch your cries against a feckless destiny!

ORATIO Yeah, I suppose.

SPAVENTO You're more listless than usual.

ORATIO I haven't been sleeping, I've...

SPAVENTO Where are you staying?

ORATIO You know that bridge on Via la Sola?

SPAVENTO I do! A monument to the genius of our race!

ORATIO I'm under it.

SPAVENTO Under a bridge?

ORATIO It's dry.

SPAVENTO What has brought your noble, shining spirit to such a depth of despair?

ORATIO Isabella.

SPAVENTO Hm?

ORATIO Isabella. I whisper her name, for as you know, we stand before her husband's house, and neither she, nor her father who lives but over there, must know of my presence in the city.

SPAVENTO Why so secretive?

ORATIO Love.

SPAVENTO Ah. Love.

ORATIO She's so... Patient, kind, forbearing, charitable, humble, chaste...

SPAVENTO Well, perhaps not chaste...

ORATIO But you see what I mean.

SPAVENTO I do. You've been suckered by a woman.

ORATIO You misunderstand.

SPAVENTO I understand all too well! You think because I am a giant of the battlefield that I have not wept at the sight of a shapely bosom? I have torn the hair from my chest in lamenting what I could not conquer! But don't waste your manhood on Isabella! She married this greasy little Roman who probably has ties with the Mafia, and I don't care who you know, you don't mess with those guys.

ORATIO It is not in my power to change my heart.

SPAVENTO Bah! All you need to do is get a few things off your chest. How did all this start?

ORATIO I dare not say.

SPAVENTO Why not?

ORATIO It mustn't get around. Especially not to Pedrolino, you know what a meddler he is.

SPAVENTO Nothing that goes into these ears goes anywhere else! Not even when I'm roaring drunk. Your story will be locked in my soul with chains and bolts of steel!

ORATIO You won't repeat it.

SPAVENTO I'll try not to.

ORATIO It is a story so sad, and so full of woe that I hesitate to divulge it for fear of driving all those who hear it mad. It is Homeric in its scope, epic in its proportions and the madness it induces is the madness of the gods. It all began one summer's night just over three years ago. Isabella and I were walking, as lovers do, under the firmament. (music)

Scene Two

Isabella, Oratio with Spavento looking on.

ISABELLA Psst! Oratio!

ORATIO Isabella!

ISABELLA My love.

ORATIO My only.

ISABELLA I dreamt a dream.

ORATIO You slept?

ISABELLA: Only for a moment.

ORATIO: I couldn't sleep, knowing you were here, waiting.

ISABELLA I slept, yes, but in my clothes.

ORATIO I didn't even lie down. I sat there waiting for your call.

ISABELLA Waiting for me?

ORATIO Sitting, sleepless and fully clothed.

ISABELLA In my dream, I dreamt I was with you...

ORATIO I stayed awake, but you were in all my thoughts.

ISABELLA ...we were by the sea...

ORATIO Your hair smells of the sea.

ISABELLA ...with the bright moon shining.

ORATIO Your hair is the sea.

ISABELLA Your face was made of opal...

ORATIO Your ears are shells washed upon the shore...

ISABELLA ...your eyes were blue sapphires.

ORATIO ...the foam at the corner of your mouth, sea-foam.

ISABELLA I kissed your lips, which were cranberries.

ORATIO Your eyes are stars set like jewels in the black velvet of the black heavens. (romantic pause)

ISABELLA Foam?

ORATIO What?

ISABELLA My mouth? Foam?

ORATIO Just a little, at the corners. It's beautiful.

ISABELLA How embarrassing. Excuse me. (she wipes her mouth) Is it still there?

ORATIO The tide has come and washed it away.

ISABELLA Kiss me! (he does) Then in the dream I looked up and there I saw... (in fear) oh!

ORATIO Dearest?

ISABELLA As we kissed, the cliff behind you began to crumble, and pieces fell into the sea. We ran! But the harder we tried to run, the more rooted in the sand we became, and the cliff kept crumbling, falling. Oh! I woke with a shudder.

ORATIO It was only a dream, Isabella, my beauty.

ISABELLA Oh, yes! Kiss me again! (he does) This is the life of angels! (Zanni's sing, Isabella and Oratio dance)

Scene Three

Pantelone, Isabella, Oratio (with Spavento still looking on)

Pantelone enters from his house. He is carrying a satchel and seems completely unsurprised to find the two lovers.

PANTELONE Oratio!

ORATIO Father!

PANTELONE I thought I told you to remain dressed and not to fall asleep under any circumstances until I'd discussed with you my very important business. Oratio, here's your bag. Your passage is booked.

ORATIO But, father, where am I going?

PANTELONE To my brother, Malaffari's house in Leone. That's in France. Now get going.

ORATIO France?

PANTELONE He's in trouble with his business again -- poor simple idiot -- and I'm sending you -- God help him -- to offer your assistance.

ORATIO And after his problems have been set right again, I return once more to my beloved... Naples?

PANTELONE Ha! Yes, you will! Ha! After his affairs are set right! Ha! Ten years at a minimum, if ever! Come on, don't linger, you've got fifty minutes. Give him my best, don't ever let him come visit and don't let him take any more loans. Write all this down. Double his prices and halve his costs. Evict his tenants and keep their deposits. Pay no attention to quality, just make things look good. Never cheat anyone unless you're ninety percent sure you can get away with it. Hire the right man for the job, and as soon as he's done it, fire him. Treat your employees with respect, in public, but use them for all they're worth everywhere else. Stay away from whores, they steal. Don't be afraid of bankruptcy. Vote your wallet. Incorporate. Got all that? You'll be a rich man in six months. Now get going. If I'm dead when you return, destroy my papers.

Pantelone leaves.

Scene Four

Isabella, Oratio (with Spavento still looking on)

ORATIO He's a good man. He really is, he's just afraid to show it.

ISABELLA My Oratio! He's sending you away from me!

ORATIO Impossible. You'll come with me!

ISABELLA I will! I'll run away this night.

ORATIO No, wait. I only have a ticket for one. (showing her) It's a single.

ISABELLA I'll buy my own passage.

ORATIO How? Your father is destitute and I have not a scudo to my name.

ISABELLA I will join a commedia troupe and journey to France.

ORATIO Get real, commedia is dead and you can't act

ISABELLA Oratio!

ORATIO Isabella! I will be true to you, by all the stars in your eyes and the sea in your hair, I swear it!

ISABELLA Why are we being so cruelly tested?

ORATIO My father fears our marriage.

ISABELLA Why?

ORATIO He does not want me to marry a poor man's daughter, he wants to prosper from my marriage. He cares nothing of love, all he wants is wealth and standing.

ISABELLA My father has great standing. He is a renowned lawyer!

ORATIO Renowned for his stupidity.

ISABELLA And poor memory, I know.

ORATIO Isabella, I will help my uncle Malaffari recover and I will return before you know it, and all will be as if this evening's events never occurred.

ISABELLA I will not marry anyone but you, Oratio.

ORATIO I will never look upon another woman.

ISABELLA I will never even think of another man.

ORATIO Um... What I mean is, I won't look at another woman like that. You know, like that.

ISABELLA But what if your uncle's business is beyond your helping it?

ORATIO Then I may never return. I will be stuck in Leone forever, manufacturing desk blotters.

ISABELLA I will not marry.

ORATIO No, Isabella, I love you and cannot doom you to the fate of a lonely and desolate old age. If I do not return three years hence, marry the first eligible gentleman you meet.

ISABELLA Would you repeat that?

ORATIO Sure. I will return within three years if I return at all. If I do not return three years hence, marry the first eligible gentleman you meet.

ISABELLA Whatever you say.

ORATIO Do you swear?

ISABELLA I do, by your sapphire eyes and face of opal.

ORATIO We have sworn. And if I cannot return in three years, I will never return at all.

ISABELLA You are so noble.

ORATIO I could not cause you the suffering.

ISABELLA So brave.

ORATIO Or, if I do return, like to get my inheritance or like that, I won't let you know about it.

ISABELLA My Oratio!

ORATIO Isabella, dearest.

ISABELLA Kiss me, one last time!

ORATIO Not the last, my love, but one to last. (he kisses her) This is the seed of our memories for all the years before us. (again) These are the moments which will feed the soul of our love. (again) I give you not kisses, but memories.

ISABELLA They are implanted upon my lips. I will touch them gently and know you in my heart as if it were always this moment on this night.

ORATIO I cannot leave.

ISABELLA You have to, you'll be late.

ORATIO It's only ten minutes to the port.

ISABELLA But there's baggage check and you know how those ticketing agents are.

ORATIO You rush me?

ISABELLA When I know you are soon to be a memory, I am anxious to begin my contentment with memories. Please, go, so I may weep for you the longer.

More romantic music. Oratio heaves his satchel and is once again in the present talking with Spavento.

Scene Five

Spavento, Oratio

ORATIO Have you ever heard a tale more sad?

SPAVENTO Bah! it's not like she's dead! Look at poor Pedrolino who will never see his woman again.

ORATIO Ah, poor Pedrolino. Why?

SPAVENTO His lady, Franceschina, and Isabella's maid, has passed from this temporal plane into the abode of heroes.

ORATIO Francechina, alas!

SPAVENTO Couldn't be helped. She fell ill, fell asleep and never woke up.

ORATIO At least it was quick.

SPAVENTO If you must die other than on the field of mighty Mars, it is the best way.

ORATIO Ah! How tragic! Life is a bitter poem! It is out of meter with erratic rhymes. It's imagery is wanton. It's themes chaotic. I will forsake my pen.

SPAVENTO Pull yourself together!

ORATIO This news and the news of Isabella's marriage hard upon each other is more than I can bear.

SPAVENTO It's clear, you've had enough of sleeping under bridges! Stay at my house and learn once more to face life with all it's defeats and victories!

ORATIO But Isabella? Married? To another? As good as dead. Worse than dead, for now she is everywhere to taunt my fidelity.

SPAVENTO Drown your woes in a glass of chianti. We'll sing lusty songs and eye the wenches! We'll talk of manly things and roar with laughter.

ORATIO Maybe later.

SPAVENTO Then you will come to my house which, fortress like, turns a blind eye to the street. You can hide there.

ORATIO I suffer beneath the bridge, and it is suffering I relish.

SPAVENTO It is the weak suffering of a lover. Come suffer in my house, like a warrior!

ORATIO I'll think about it.

SPAVENTO I will see you there come sunset or I will carry you there myself. You choose! Adio, my friend and be strong!

The Captain hits him soundly and leaves, singing martial songs.