The Truth About Romance

When we produced an earlier version of this adaptation of Anatol at Studio III Group in New York City, we were confronted with having to stage scenes which called for lavish sets in a bare room of about 30 by 40 feet. This was solved by expanding the character of Franz, Anatol's manservant, into a kind of stage manager who painted a verbal setting for us before each scene. He also moved the few pieces of furniture as he described what we were supposed to see. This turns out to be a highly appropriate and effective way of presenting the play to modern audiences, so I have included his descriptions as part of the text. The play was staged using only two small round tables, two straight back chairs, an armchair and an ottoman. They were helped by a variety of table covers and props. It was especially effective to have a full, elegant table setting for the restaurant scene with all the accouterments of formal service. Otherwise, the words, the acting and the costumes carried the play quite nicely.

SCENE FIVE

 

FRANZ: The private dining rooms at Sacher's are adorned with plush velvet curtains, richly framed landscapes, a marble mantle, and a wildly ornate antique clock. A mirror hangs above the mantle, and in it is reflected a glittering cut crystal chandelier -- with electric lights, discreetly dimmed. Max is examining the elegant table settings, a novelty in his circles, and savoring a fine liqueur. Anatol stands by the door and orders supper from the waiter -- THE FAREWELL SUPPER

MAX: Don't you think you've ordered enough?

ANATOL: Hold on. Have you got that? (waiter, also Franz, leaves)

MAX: I mean, suppose she doesn't come?

ANATOL: It's only twelve o'clock, how could she be here by now?

MAX: The ballet is over at eleven.

ANATOL: But after she takes off her makeup and changes out of her costume... Maybe I should go wait for her.

MAX: Why so anxious?

ANATOL: I'm not anxious. I just don't want her to think me rude.

MAX: Making her walk almost two blocks to dine lavishly at your expense, how rude.

ANATOL: As usual, you completely misunderstand.

MAX: Do I?

ANATOL: This evening's supper represents a turning point in our lives.

MAX: You're proposing marriage?

ANATOL: Don't be trivial.

MAX: Trivial? Marriage doesn't seem to me to be the least bit trivial.

ANATOL: Max, you are so shallow! There are junctures in life which are beyond the mundane and the commonplace such as marriage. Moments of great decision which can only be called spiritual.

MAX: Spiritual is not going to interest Annie in the least.

ANATOL: Quite so. (pause) This will be our last evening together.

MAX: With Annie?

ANATOL: Our farewell supper.

MAX: So why am I here?

ANATOL: To officiate at the final rites, as it were.

MAX: Oh, that'll be jolly.

ANATOL: I've been putting this supper off for a week, you see.

MAX: You must be hungry by now.

ANATOL: Max, don't be literal. I've dined with Annie every evening this week, but I just haven't been able to find the right words. It has been an incredible strain.

MAX: Ah, so I'm your... prompter?

ANATOL: No, more my supporting actor. I can rely on you to stay absolutely calm no matter what happens. You will shed an benevolent aura upon the situation. You know Annie.

MAX: I do. She's a lovely girl. I don't quite understand why you're ending it.

ANATOL: She bores me.

MAX: Oh. (pause) There's someone else?

ANATOL: Yes.

MAX: I see.

ANATOL: A very special someone, too.

MAX: How special?

ANATOL: Like no one else I've ever known. What Mimi does to me... she's without parallel. She's... she's like a waltz!

MAX: Another dancer?

ANATOL: Yes, Mimi is like a waltz, slow and dreamy, poignant, gay, delirious, calm... yet under it all, a simplicity that... it's difficult to explain. Well, here: I give her this little passel of violets, and when she looks up to thank me there's a single tear trailing down her cheek.

MAX: My goodness! I wonder what diamonds would do to her.

ANATOL: You're so...! Alright, look at it this way, Mimi would be uncomfortable in a place like this. She likes cozy cafes with ugly wallpaper and government employees. We've been to a different one of those cafes every night this week.

MAX: I thought you'd been having supper with Annie.

ANATOL: I have. I've been eating twice, once trying to start an affair and once trying to end one. So far I've been successful with neither.

MAX: I know! Take Annie to a cafe with ugly wallpaper and bring Mimi here! Bing, bing, pow. Next!

ANATOL: Mimi has simple tastes. She does! Anything slightly better than a table wine and she...

MAX: Produces a tear down her cheek?

ANATOL: She won't allow it, that's all. It seems extravagant to her. Embarrasses her. She's so fresh. So... scrubbed and direct.

MAX: So, you've been drinking a lot of cheap Chianti, lately.

ANATOL: Before ten, yes. After ten, champagne. C'est la vivre.

MAX: C'est your la vivre.

ANATOL: It has been an nice adventure. But I've had enough. I've suddenly realized how profoundly honorable I am.

MAX: What?

ANATOL: I'm beginning to feel duplicitous.

MAX: Ah.

ANATOL: Hypocritical.

MAX: Poor man.

ANATOL: Tortured by guilt.

MAX: Too far.

ANATOL: Wracked by guilt?

MAX: Still too far.

ANATOL: Bothered?

MAX: Bothered is good.

ANATOL: I'm deeply bothered by guilt. Too much?

MAX: It plays.

ANATOL: How can I in good conscience continue to pretend to a love I no longer feel?

MAX: (taking Annie's part) Anatol, you never know your own heart, you decieve yourself.

ANATOL: It is my heart I am speaking of. And it is you I dare not deceive. You will recall when we first met -- just as we were promising that nothing would ever come between us -- I told you right then and there that the minute either of us felt it was over, we should say so.

MAX: Yes, yes, as soon as we felt it was over, cut it off! Smash it! Annihilate the relationship! So nothing can come between us.

ANATOL: You're with me on this?

MAX: (himself) I'm with you.

ANATOL: And I've repeated it a hundred times since -- when it's over, it's over, we're free, no hurt feelings. I'd prefer death to deception.

MAX: Death to deception is very good! Why do you need me?

ANATOL: Because I'm afraid she'll cry, and if she does, I'll fall in love with her again, and then in a way I'll be cheating on Mimi, and I couldn't stand that.

MAX: Honorable to a fault.

ANATOL: I know. It makes love so... deliciously difficult. But with you here... Well, you're sort of a wet-blanket. A killjoy, as it were. You're such a mass of boring tedium and bland normality, why just your presence will protect me from any romantic inclinations. I tell her, she cries, I pat her on the head and you and I go out for a aperitif.

MAX: I'm flattered.

ANATOL: You'll say something like, losing him is losing nothing.

MAX: I think I can manage that.

ANATOL: And maybe that men of my looks are as common as... well, better say of my wealth... no... my wit?

MAX: How about all three?

ANATOL: We don't want to overstate it...

FRANZ: (entering with Annie) This way, Madame.

ANNIE: So this is where you've been!

ANATOL: Good evening, Annie, I'm sorry if...

ANNIE: Leave me on the street, looking around, wondering if you're coming or not...

ANATOL: Good thing it's a short walk.

ANNIE: Still, you should keep your promises. Hello, Max. Let's feed.

Max rings for the waiter.

ANATOL: (privately, after embracing her) You're not wearing a corset.

ANNIE: A corset? With you?

ANATOL: But we're not alone.

ANNIE: It's only Max. (knock) Come in! What's he knocking for? He never knocks. (The waiter enters.)

ANATOL: You may serve.

The waiters leaves.

ANNIE: I didn't see you at the show tonight.

ANATOL: No. I had to..

ANNIE: You didn't miss much. It was sloppy.

ANATOL: What did you follow?

ANNIE: I don't know. I go to my dressing room, then right on stage, that way I don't feel like I'm the second course. Speaking of second courses, I need to talk to you, Anatol.

ANATOL: Something important?

ANNIE: Somewhat. Important, yes. I'd say so. It might come as a shock to you, but...

The waiter enters with the appetizer and begins to serve.

ANATOL: Yes! I need to talk, too...

ANNIE: Not now! Not in front of him. (the waiter)

ANATOL: Thank you, we'll ring.

The waiter leaves.

ANATOL: You were saying?

ANNIE: Yes. This may shock you... no it won't shock you... it may surprise you... well, actually, I don't know why you should be surprised.

MAX: You got a raise?

ANATOL: Shush!

ANNIE: No, no, you won't be. (she means "surprised") Are these Ostend or Whitstable?

ANATOL: Ostend.

ANNIE: I'm just mad about oysters. Oysters are the only food I never get tired of.

MAX: Oh, me, too. Oysters, three meals a day. Heaped with baluga caviar and washed down with champagne. The simple life.

ANNIE: Ah me, yes, giving that up will be difficult.

ANATOL: Giving it up?

ANNIE: Oh yes. Anatol. Do you remember..? Well, once you said that... well, if we were ever to... you know. Remember?

ANATOL: Not specifically.

MAX: Nothing should ever come between you?

ANATOL: Shush!

ANNIE: Yes! Yes, so that nothing should ever come between us. Death or deception, wasn't that it?

ANATOL: Ah. Yes, well, I...

ANNIE: "Tell me the truth! Right away!" That's what you said. "Right away, before things get messy."

ANATOL: Yes. You see, I meant that...

ANNIE: Well, Anatol, things have gotten messy.

ANATOL: Well, yes, but...

ANNIE: No, not really. (giggling) But by tomorrow at this time, who knows?

ANATOL: What do you mean?

MAX: Messy?

ANNIE: Oh, yes, things could get very messy. Mmm-mmm! Anatol, eat your oysters or I'm not saying another word.

ANATOL: My oysters?

ANNIE: Yes, eat your oysters.

ANATOL: You're telling me that things have gotten messy and I have to eat oysters?

ANNIE: Eat.

ANATOL: I've lost my appetite.

ANNIE: I don't wonder. (a pause while she eats)

ANATOL: How did you find out?

ANNIE: It was as plain as day, but I didn't see it. Then suddenly it just hit me. And here I am to tell you.

ANATOL: I was going to say something, but...

ANNIE: The time has come, Anatol.

ANATOL: The time?

ANNIE: Tonight is regrettably our final supper together.

ANATOL: It is. I'm sorry, I tried to tell you as soon as you came in but Max was...

MAX: Me?

ANNIE: We're finished.

ANATOL: (still not quite getting it) No, there's the main course and dessert.

MAX: Ha!

ANNIE: You and me. It's over.

ANATOL: (a vague suspicion that he's been let off the hook) You've been proposed to?

ANNIE: No! Anatol! Why would I dump you if it was only someone proposing to me? Marriage, even. No, this is much more serious than that.

ANATOL: (It hits) Dump me!

ANNIE: Anatol. I'm in love.

MAX: (he bursts out laughing)

ANNIE: This is nothing to laugh at, Max.

MAX: Oh yes, it is!

ANATOL: Ignore him. I thought you were in love with me?

ANNIE: Was I? Oh, maybe I was. Once. But at any rate that's all past, so just like we agreed, I'm telling you right away, before things get messy. This is good wine, Anatol, you really went all out tonight. (another storm of laughter from Max)

ANATOL: Who cares about that? Who is he? What does he do? Where did you meet him?

ANNIE: Anatol, you're angry?

ANATOL: Of course I'm angry.

ANNIE: Well, I don't understand that at all. Ring the bell, Max, I'm famished.

ANATOL: Hungry! At a time like this, you're hungry? How can she be hungry?

MAX: She probably only eats one dinner a night.

ANATOL: (the waiter enters) What do you want?

WAITER: You rang, sir?

MAX: You may clear.

ANNIE: Oh Max, guess what I heard? Catalini? She's going to Italy after all, it's been settled.

MAX: Is she? And they're actually letting her go, no hurt feelings?

ANNIE: Well, I wouldn't say no hurt feelings.

ANATOL: (to the waiter) Are you asleep, or what?! The wine! The wine!

WAITER: The wine, sir? (pointing it out)

ANATOL: I don't mean the dinner wine! Champagne! You know I like it first! (The waiter leaves. To Annie) Alright, I'm calm now. Who is this muttonhead?

ANNIE: I'll never trust another man when he promises to be reasonable. Really, Anatol, you're the one who said we should be honest with each other. I'm being honest, that's all.

ANATOL: You're being unfaithful.

ANNIE: No, no, not yet, I'm not. That's why it has to be over between us right now.

ANATOL: I'm a man, I have a right to know.

ANNIE: Oh, this wine!

ANATOL: Finish the wine. Hurry up.

ANNIE: Hurry? Why?

ANATOL: You usually guzzle it anyway.

ANNIE: I drink quickly. Not tonight. Tonight I say goodbye to claret. Will I ever see you again? It may be years and years and years!

The waiter enters with champagne and the main dish.

ANATOL: She's talking to her wine!

ANNIE: Goodbye claret, farewell dear oysters, adieu champagne... au revoir steak and truffles! I'll remember you fondly!

MAX: What a sentimental stomach you have.

ANNIE: Thank you.

FRANZ: (offering to serve) May I?

ANATOL: (lights up)

FRANZ: (to Anatol) Have you finished?

The waiter leaves.

ANATOL: So, who's the lucky idiot?

ANNIE: You don't know him.

ANATOL: That's considerate of you. Is he good-looking and vapid?

ANNIE: He's beautiful. Uoh! Uoh! Is he gorgeous.

ANATOL: Which is enough, I suppose.

ANNIE: He's good looking enough to make me forget oysters.

ANATOL: I see.

ANNIE: His beauty will be my champagne.

ANATOL: Damnit, is that his whole of his personal charm, not being able to afford oysters and champagne!?

MAX: So simple, so scrubbed and direct.

ANNIE: Exactly. Oh, Anatol, I'm so much in love. I'll live without these little luxuries, gladly, but I'll live in love! Oh, it's never been like this with anyone before!

ANATOL: I see.

MAX: I'm sure Anatol would be happy to treat you to a cheap meal once in a while, if that makes a difference.

ANATOL: What is he? A bus boy? A salesman?

ANNIE: He's an artist.

ANATOL: Trapeze?

ANNIE: He's a dancer, like me.

ANATOL: I see! An old acquaintance! Someone you've seen every day for years, and a few nights, as well, I'll wager.

ANNIE: I took you on your word, so I'm telling you now before it gets messy. And it's just about to get very messy.

ANATOL: No, no, it's already messy, you've been unfaithful to me already for a long time.

ANNIE: I have not. Not even so much as a kiss. (she shutters with delight at the thought of it)

ANATOL: In spirit.

ANNIE: Oh, well, I can hardly help that.

ANATOL: Why, you little...

MAX: Anatol!

ANATOL: So a dancer, heh? Big man on point, I suppose.

ANNIE: Corps de ballet now, but he will rise, he will rise!

ANATOL: I bet he will.

ANNIE: He will.

ANATOL: When did all this start?

ANNIE: Tonight.

ANATOL: Don't lie.

ANNIE: I'm not. Tonight, for the first time, I saw him clearly as my destiny.

ANATOL: Destiny. A crush. Destiny.

ANNIE: Call it whatever you like. He is my destiny.

ANATOL: Alright, I want to hear it all, beginning to end, it's my right, you belong to me and I want to know how it started, exactly when this dancer boy finally got up the nerve to make a pass at a real woman.

MAX: More champange?

ANNIE: Mmm, yes, it is good. I shouldn't have told you, Anatol. I could have kept right on dining, and you would have never known a thing about it. Fritzi never told Baron von Glehn a thing about her Hussar lieutenant, and that's been going on for three months.

ANATOL: He'll find out.

ANNIE: So what? What can he or any other man do about it? I'm too smart for you Anatol, and far, far too cultured. (drinks more champagne)

ANATOL: You've had enough!

ANNIE: It's my farewell dinner to dinner, I'll drink exactly as much as I want.

MAX: Beans and lentils for a week. How Spartan.

ANATOL: (Makes a sound. He and Max laugh)

ANNIE: Laugh at your stupid jokes. Karl is my destiny, my life, my only love. He's cheerful and kind and isn't all puffed up with himself, and I love him. He isn't all about money and social standing and luxury and fashion and all the nonsense you take so seriously, Anatol. He's good and kind and simple.

MAX: And well scrubbed.

ANNIE: And well scrubbed.

ANATOL: And all this passion, all this destiny, happened on one, chaste night of innocence.

ANNIE: Think what you like, I don't care.

MAX: Oh come on, tell all. Snuggle up to your champagne and truffles and let it out.

ANATOL: And after that, I've got my own story to tell.

ANNIE: Well ,why not? It was a week ago, more or less, he met me at the stage door with this lonely little rose. One simple rose, oh, it made me laugh, he was almost in tears he was so awkward, yet so sincere. And so beautiful.

ANATOL: Did I ever hear of this? No. Max, did I ever hear of this? Not a word.

ANNIE: You never heard, because there was nothing to tell. An awkward, beautiful boy with a rose on a crooked stem. Then he started drifting towards me at rehearsal, I mean he was so obvious, but after awhile I really found it very charming.

ANATOL: Charming.

ANNIE: And when we finally began exchanging words, I...

ANATOL: Oh, you exchanged words?

ANNIE: Oh yes, he told me about being expelled from school, and about all his plans to become an apprentice, but then he got the bug for theatre...

ANATOL: (to Max) I never heard any of this! None of it!

ANNIE: And then we found out that we grew up in the same neighborhood! Can you imagine?

ANATOL: Oh, well neighbors, oh yes, that is sweet.

ANNIE: It was! You see? Destiny! And who am I to resist destiny? And so... tonight...

ANATOL: And so tonight?

ANNIE: Yes...

MAX: She's falling asleep.

ANNIE: I am not...

ANATOL: Don't let her! Take her wine!

ANNIE: I can't help but dream of him, even now, with you here...

ANATOL: What about tonight? What happened tonight?

ANNIE: Tonight? Oh... tonight he told me how much he loved me.

ANATOL: And what did you do?

ANNIE: I told him I was pleased. Oh, how could I ever disappoint him? That adorable face. So it's "goodbye Anatol!" Adieu champagne!

ANATOL: Disappoint him! What about me?

ANNIE: Anatol, you never know your own heart, really. You decieve yourself because you want to love, that's all. But I have learned to know my heart. (gently) And I don't really like you anymore.

ANATOL: Fine. Fine. Should that affect me? Do you expect me to be affected by that?

ANNIE: Max, ring for dessert.

ANATOL: You mean even less to me, I hope you realize.

ANNIE: I hope it's creme broule.

ANATOL: The girl I'm in love with is infinitely more likable than you ever were!

ANNIE: (laughs)

ANATOL: And you laugh.

ANNIE: But you're so obvious!

ANATOL: Max, tell her.

ANNIE: I'm in love, so you pull "another woman" out of the hat. Oh, Anatol.

ANATOL: And if you really want to know, I haven't just stopped liking you, I'm bored with you, I have been for months and months, because I really didn't want to be with you at all, I wanted to be with her, kissing her, hugging her...

ANNIE: Ditto.

ANATOL: What?

ANNIE: Ditto. That's just the way I've felt about you.

ANATOL: Oh no... oh no, with me there's more. It goes further than that with me.

ANNIE: Does it?

ANATOL: What you told me just now, I was doing months ago!

ANNIE: What?

ANATOL: Oh, yes, and what you hope to do tomorrow, I've already done last week!

ANNIE: You what!

ANATOL: Why not? I knew you'd eventually try to get the better of me. Every night when I left you, straight to her. And straight from her when I was forced to have dinner with the likes of you.

ANNIE: That's disgusting.

ANATOL: It's disgusting because I did it first!

ANNIE: It's disgusting because it's so typical.

ANATOL: Typical? Me, typical?

ANNIE: Men are nothing but beasts.

ANATOL: Men are?!

ANNIE: Tactless and crude. I displayed wonderful tact in stopping my story when I did.

ANATOL: What?

MAX: Shhh, Anatol, let it go.

ANATOL: Stopping before what?

ANNIE: Something I will never tell you. It takes a man to be that crude.

WAITER: (entering with a tray) Your creme broule.

ANNIE: Oh, good!

ANATOL: To hell with your creme!

ANNIE: Creme broule!

ANATOL: Always room for dessert, heh? (he grabs the bowl away from her)

MAX: Now, now, it's her farewell to the creme, too. Maybe forever!

ANNIE: With no regrets, either! Farewell claret, champagne, oysters, and creme broule! And with least regrets, farewell to you, Anatol! See you, Max.

she stops on her way out to grab a hand full of cigars from the waiter

ANNIE: Not for me -- for him!

MAX: What'd I tell you? Easy as pie.

Anatol seriously considers pelting him with the creme broule while Max sits down to enjoy the leftovers.

 

 

Copyright © 1991 & 1996 by David Zarko